hostage | MASK OR MENACE

Do you have any idea how long it's been?

[By which he means: Do you have any idea how much I've missed you? Because it isn't about the last time he fucked someone. It's about how long he's been separated from Joel - so damn far away that Joel's existence was wiped from his mind - and all of Jesse is aching to return to their life together.

They had something like happiness, didn't they? Didn't they love each other as much as they were capable?

Jesse hooks his free arm around Joel, pressing closer to nuzzle up against him, stroking him with inexhaustible urgency.]

[ Joel lets Jesse pull him close, his eyes falling shut. A soft shuddering breath escapes him from how Jesse is stroking him. He's kept everything contained ever since bringing Jesse home from Will's place; he's done nothing except shove away thoughts that keep creeping into his mind and determinedly try to pretend everything is back to normal. Jesse nuzzling up against him, the closeness of him, his familiar scent and his familiar warmth and familiar touch starts causing Joel's resolve to crumble.

Joel's hands fumble underneath Jesse's coat and slide up along his sides and around to his back, and he presses his cheek against Jesse's cheek, another shuddering breath jarring from him. Then he's turning his head to find Jesse's mouth with his own. Joel never usually initiates intimacy and there's almost always a resistance whenever Jesse tries to kiss him. There's even a hint of hesitancy in how he meets Jesse's lips now, but there's also something desperate and longing about it: everything he can't bring himself to say suddenly starting to spill out in the way he crushes his mouth against Jesse's, while his hands grab at Jesse's back, fingers digging in, grabbing at the material of his shirt, all while breathing heavily and muffling a hitched gasp against Jesse's lips. ]

[He doesn't expect the kiss, which makes it that much better. Jesse knows how difficult it's always been for Joel - to form connections and to lose them - and he can taste that struggle on Joel's lips. His heart skips a beat, his own lips parting to accept Joel and to comfort him. And to take for himself, too, because Jesse knows he deserves this as much as anything else. He's glad that Joel missed him. He needed someone to miss him.

Jesse shifts as Joel takes hold of him, his spine curving under the pressure of those possessive hands, his cock throbbing painfully in his jeans and pulsing against Joel's thigh. He moans softly into Joel's mouth but his right hand doesn't slow its work, persistent as Joel thickens in his grasp.]

[ The kiss soon breaks from Joel needing to take a deep breath of air. He doesn't pull away, though; he presses his forehead against Jesse's with his eyes still shut. He can feel Jesse's hardness pressing into his thigh and he can sense Jesse's neediness in the way Jesse is jerking him off, and his chest knots up tighter with his own neediness fighting its way to the surface. It's a scary, out of control feeling, scary enough to warrant shoving Jesse away from him, and in fact his hands slip free from under Jesse's coat to press against his chest like he's about to do just that.

He swallows hard and tries to think through the sound of his pulse pounding in his ears and the burgeoning pleasure pooling in his groin, and then simply just... gives in. His hands begin fumbling with the buttons on Jesse's shirt and he makes it halfway down the column of buttons before losing patience and ripping the shirt open the rest of the way. His strength makes it seem like Jesse's shirt is made of nothing but paper, with buttons flinging off in different directions, and both his hands begin shoving both the shirt and Jesse's coat off his shoulders. ]

[Jesse lets out a gasping laugh as Joel literally tears his clothes off. He releases Joel, then, just to make it easier to slip his arms out of his sleeves. His shirt and coat fall to the ground, and the next moment Jesse's hands are on him again. He rises on his toes to catch Joel's lips, kissing him deeply, hands cupping his face before dropping to begin undressing Joel in turn.]

[ Joel lets Jesse guide their mouths back together while he moves his hands down to Jesse's jeans. Where Jesse is a lot more sure of himself when it comes to this kind of thing, Joel is a little clumsier, the intimacy of undressing Jesse making him a little hesitant, uncertain. As his own shirt is unbuttoned and pushed down his shoulders, Joel abandons what he's doing to help shrug his coat and shirt down his arms, small goosebumps breaking out across his skin and his nipples tightening from the chilly air inside the otherwise insulated tent. He takes to pushing his own jeans and his briefs down his hips, his cock almost fully hard now and swaying heavily as he moves, while toeing off his boots with an impatience that almost has him trampling over his own feet.

Jeans and briefs and boots kicked aside, he steps backwards to the foam camping mattress behind him and seats himself down onto it, one hand shoving the thick blankets aside to climb under them while his other hand reaches up to snag Jesse's hand to tug Jesse down to him. ]

C'mon, hurry the hell up, it's goddamn cold.

[Joel's mad, clumsy rush is so endearing. Jesse laughs again as he's tugged down, dropping onto Joel's lap and encircling him with both arms and legs. The close contact ought to help warm Joel, at least. It's not that Jesse's completely immune to the cold, but his body equalizes his temperature the way it does everything else, so his skin radiates the same warmth he's feeling. He kisses Joel again, and again, and again - probably the most playful and open his affection for Joel has ever been.]

[ The warmth of Jesse's skin against his own is exactly the kind of warmth needed to stave away the bitter cold. Joel stretches a hand down to rumple the blankets up over them both, a difficult task with the way Jesse is smothering him with kisses over and over. The playfulness and open affection is something Joel isn't sure how to respond to, definitely something he's not used to - he meets each kiss but with a stilted uncertainty, like he's genuinely attempting to return the affection but is simply too awkward to ease into it. He's more or less dominated by Jesse's affection, although the moment he's finally tugged the blankets up over them, his hands slide onto Jesse's back and begin roaming across his skin and down his sides and down to his ass like they've got a mind of their own. ]

[Jesse doesn't expect that love to be returned. He knows better. That doesn't stop his own expression, though. He can't help himself and this hunger, this desire to mark every inch of Joel with his lips. He tilts his head, working his way from Joel's mouth to his neck and dipping down to his shoulder. Jesse's hands slide down Joel's chest until they find his cock again, squeezing it against his own, stroking them both.]

[ A tight groan leaves Joel's lips as Jesse's hands stroke and rub their erections together. He lifts his head to look down at what Jesse is doing and while Jesse is kissing down his shoulder, Joel lifts a hand up to push his fingers through Jesse's hair with a subtle encouraging tenderness before pushing that same hand down between their bodies to experimentally join Jesse's hand jerking them both off. ]

[Joel's touch draws a purr out of Jesse, his body giving a shiver as he rocks forward and pushes into those rough fingers. His own hand keeps up its work, gliding up and down their shafts, keeping them as close as they can possibly get without Joel being inside him.

Or vice versa.

God, the thought of being inside Joel gets him harder, his free hand gripping Joel's hip as he toys with the idea of pushing Joel back and just taking him the way Joel first took him: greedily, selfishly, painfully. Jesse's lips make their way back up and he pushes his tongue into Joel's mouth, forceful and ravenous. He could do it, couldn't he? Would Joel beg him to stop or would he enjoy it?]

[ The aggressive kiss takes Joel off-guard. He catches up quickly, though, lifting his head off the mattress to crush his lips against Jesse's, his tongue pushing into Jesse's mouth with equal aggression. A soft groan is muffled into the kiss, low and deep in the back of his throat. He thinks this is going to head where it always heads - with Jesse underneath him, or Jesse riding him, fucking Jesse until his mind is blank and everything troubling him is a million miles away for a little while, the way Jesse likes it and always wants it - and so he pulls his hand out from between their bodies to start shoving Jesse off him, with intent to climb on top of him. ]

[Jesse responds immediately, his hands darting to Joel's shoulders to push him back down. Not a violent motion, but assertive, wordlessly commanding Joel to stay right where he is. Jesse keeps one hand there, pressing Joel to the mattress, while the other glides between Joel's thighs. He teases Joel's balls first to put him at ease, massaging them gently in his palm. Patience, patience... Their lips are still locked and Jesse's tongue penetrates Joel's mouth again.]

[ Being shoved back down surprises Joel a little. It shows on his face, in the way he looks up at Jesse. He was expecting Jesse to roll willingly onto his back, and he was expecting Jesse's needy touch greedily pulling Joel onto him.

Pinned down on the camping mattress, he utters a quiet noise against Jesse's mouth, his muscles jerking slightly at the touch to his balls. Jesse's hand gently caressing and massaging them feels both entirely exposing and exciting; part of wants to squirm away from it, especially with Jesse keeping him pinned down, but it also feels good, the kind of good that has him groaning softly against Jesse's mouth again. ]

[Good... Jesse devours that moan of pleasure, waiting until he can feel Joel's muscles ease beneath his grasp. Then he shifts his weight, his hand leaving Joel's shoulder as he breaks the kiss to slide his fingers into his mouth, coating them with saliva.

Finally he sits back, still rolling Joel's balls in his palm as he brings that other slick hand down and sneaks it under. He teases Joel's ass with his fingertips, giving him the chance to get used their presence, brushing the rim just enough to make him crave more.]

[ A flicker of a confused frown crosses Joel's face when he sees Jesse suck and wet his fingers. It's when he realises where that hand is going and feels the first brush of Jesse's damp fingers brushing and touching between his asscheeks that his muscles jerk again and surprise once more crosses his face.

Instantly, he tenses up. His hands snatch at Jesse's arms, confusion quickly beginning to turn into alarm. This isn't what he was expecting, at all, and all of a sudden he feels vulnerable, trapped underneath Jesse with the most delicate places on his body being touched.

Tess used to do this to him. Slip her hand between his thighs, tease him with her fingers. The first time, he'd protested and tried to resist, until she'd found a sweet spot that made him almost incoherent with a pleasure he hadn't remotely anticipated. He doesn't want to like what Jesse is doing because this is entirely unexpected and unfamiliar, yet the way Jesse is teasing him is just enough to make him let out a shuddering breath. His hands are still gripping Jesse's arms, ready to push him away, but in spite of himself, his hips jerk up slightly as if seeking more and his cock flexes tight and hard, all while he stares up at Jesse with that same look of conflicted alarm on his face. ]

Shh...

[Jesse won't be dissuaded by Joel's reluctance. This isn't nearly as scary as he thinks it is. And Jesse's being so tender - for now, at least.]

Just relax. It's gonna feel good. I want you to feel so good, Joel.

[It's already working, isn't it? The desire to be taken has always come naturally to Jesse, with the right encouragement, and Joel's body responds much the same. Jesse's hand slides from Joel's balls to his cock, jerking it again to get his mind off the fear. Then Jesse slips a single finger into him, tentative, to see how he reacts.]

[ Jesse's reassurances don't take away feeling utterly exposed, out of control. It's only because of trust that he hasn't yet shoved Jesse away from him, and his fingers bite into Jesse's arms as Jesse's finger begins to press into him.

His body resists against it, his muscles tightening around Jesse's finger, though Jesse resuming jerking him off elicits another quiet groan from Joel while he writhes slightly underneath him. His breathing has picked up, partly from an arousal he can't control, partly from sheer alarm.

He starts pushing himself up onto his elbows to protest. He's never been fucked by a guy before. Being vulnerable to Jesse like that makes him nervous. ]

Be good.

[He doesn't mean to use Todd's words. They slip out of him so easily he doesn't even hear them, half a thought spoken out loud by accident as his full focus is on working Joel into submission. The nervousness isn't helping either of them, so he activates his power to calm Joel down again. Ease off some of the panic, hope that heart throbs with excitement instead. He pushes his finger in deeper, insistent.]

Wh--

[ What the hell is that supposed to mean? is what Joel means to argue back, but suddenly, out of nowhere he finds himself calming down, and Jesse's finger pushing deeper into him makes his fingertip brush against a molten spot inside Joel that makes him let out a sudden shuddering gasp.

Though his muscles are clamping down around Jesse's finger, fighting against the intrusion, he slumps back down onto the mattress with his head arching back and his cock flexing tight in Jesse's hand again. Without thinking about it, his thighs widen that bit more and his hips tilt up in search of pleasure. ]

[Good. It's working. Now Jesse just has to resist his own impatience, aggravated by that anxiety he just drew out of Joel. He dips down to kiss Joel again, hard and hot, and punctuates it by pushing a second finger in. Such a struggle to keep it slow and careful. His dick is aching with need, and this view of Joel beneath him - vulnerable and helpless to his touch - is driving him wild in a way he hasn't felt before. He's barely in control of himself, and he's on the edge of losing it.]

[ Joel breathes heavily against Jesse's dominating kiss, a strangled noise catching in the back of his throat as Jesse starts working in a second finger. His eyes squeeze shut, his muscles protesting against not only being penetrated but now slowly stretched. Jesse's fingers are small but they feel almost impossibly large; he arches his back underneath Jesse, hips squirming but only slightly because every slight movement feels almost overwhelming and tight. When Jesse's fingertips brush against that spot inside him, though, it sends a hot tingle of pressure to his cock.

His hands finally release Jesse's arms to snatch at the blankets. The pressure and discomfort of being stretched without lubrication has him breathing sharp and hard against Jesse's mouth, while the conflicting sensation of pleasure deep inside has him rocking slightly against Jesse's fingers. He can't think about anything else except what is happening right at this very moment and maybe that's a good thing. Maybe that's exactly what he needs. Gritting his teeth, he shifts his legs open wider and rocks his hips again to try and make Jesse's fingertips rub over that sweet spot again, and again, and his stomach muscles twitch and jerk each time while a louder groan that sounds somewhere between helpless discomfort and helpless pleasure escapes him. ]

[It's just a little sting. If Jesse could handle it, Joel can. He's confident of that, and the way Joel's legs open up for him is proof that he'll like it, just as soon as he gets used to it.]

Relax... Relax...

[Murmured reminders as Jesse sits back. Releasing Joel's cock, he spits into his palm and smears the saliva over the head of his own dick. It might as well be nothing, for all the good it'll do, but he doesn't particularly care about the pain. He's going to really feel Joel. That's what counts.]

Relax.

[His fingers work their way out of Joel, slow enough to keep from startling him too much, and Jesse props him up by the thigh as he eases closer. Not pushing in yet, but touching the tip of his cock to Joel's entrance.]

Tell me you want it.

[ He is relaxing. He's slowly relaxing. He's starting to ride Jesse's fingers, discomfort beginning to give way to a tingling heat that's slowly building in his balls and the base of his cock. There's a growing greediness to the way he's doing it, too, with his breathing steadily getting heavier and the head of his dick slick with precome and his mind unable to focus on anything except Jesse and Jesse's fingers inside him.

Jesse withdrawing his fingers leaves Joel feeling sudden emptiness, unfulfilled, unsatisfied, frustrated. His eyes snap open and meet Jesse's, vulnerability flaring up in him all over again as Jesse hoists his leg up, opening him up to Jesse. He feels suddenly small, overpowered by Jesse as the tip of Jesse's dick brushes against his entrance, and it makes him nervous and makes his heart race with an excitement he can't put a name to, all at once.

And that command from Jesse - he presses his lips together and swallows hard. He wants that emptiness he's been left with to be filled again. He wants to not think about all the horrible shit that's happened since Ellie disappeared, since Jesse disappeared. He needs Jesse. He can't bring himself to say it, though.

He reaches a hand out to grab the back of Jesse's neck. It's almost rough the way he does it, wordlessly telling Jesse he wants it while trying to seize some control over the situation. Submitting while also physically trying to assert some semblance of dominance that he's so used to having around Jesse. ]

[It might seem like he's giving in. After all, he allows it: doesn't slap away the hand that grabs at him, doesn't resist or hold out for some verbal confirmation. But he's satisfied by Joel's frantic desperation, the pleading in his eyes and the precome seeping from his dick.

Anyway, there's never a better time to fuck someone than when they're begging for it - even if the begging's silent.

He thrusts into Joel without any further delay, the movement guided by that impetuous hand on his neck. If Joel wants it, he'll get it. One abrupt, punishing jerk of his hips and Jesse hisses through his teeth at the crushing tightness that greets him inside.]

- God.

[The heat spreads through his nerves, pain giving way instantly to a pleasure so intense he can't bring himself to move. Not yet, not without the threat of coming immediately.

And he's not even halfway in.]

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