MASK OR MENACE - contact.

[hostage]

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[morethan084]

Mmm...

Bob.

Bob Bond.

[Well it's funny to her.]

[hostage]

[He snorts.]

That's horrible.

[morethan084]

[Lurching forward in laughter, Skye quickly caught her water bottle before it spilled all over the place.

Some did get on her leg, which is just wonderful.]

It's amazing and you know it.

[hostage]

So, Bob Bond and his wife..? What's your name?

[morethan084]

Belinda. Belinda and Bob Bond.

[hostage]

You know what? We definitely sound like we're from Florida.

[morethan084]

I feel like we should look a lot older than we do. And be transplants from Wisconsin.

[hostage]

Can't have everything.

[They've arrived, though, and Jesse pulls into a parking spot outside the most kitschy neon-lit motel in the county.]

[morethan084]

I would pay you to speak in a Wisconsin accent.

[Of course he already has a stupid amount of money but she doesn't care.]

...have you been here before?

[hostage]

Not overnight.

[But he's definitely fucked here before.

Jesse hops out of the truck and crosses to the other side to help Skye out, too. Assuming she's too drunk.]

What's a Wisconsin accent sound like, anyway?

[morethan084]

[Skye is soooo not going to question what he means by that.

And, yes, thank you because standing right now is a bit difficult for her. Still holding onto the bottle of water, Skye grabbed hold of his hand and with wobbly legs stepped down and out of the truck.

Get ready to hear the worst attempt at the accent ever.]

Don't cha know with the cheese.

[What a great sentence too.]

[hostage]

...Wow.

[Impressively bad. He's not even going to attempt it. Just leading Skye into the lobby...]

[morethan084]

[Skye snorts at his reaction, holding onto his hand tightly as she attempts to look sober. Hip knocking into his side, Skye quickly rights herself.]

Do it.

[Skye whispers as they get closer to the receptionist.]

[hostage]

[Hooking his arm around Skye's waist, Jesse makes his way to the front desk. It almost seems like he's ignoring her request. Until he opens his mouth:]

Yah, uh... Why don'tcha give us the honeymoon suite. One honeymoon suite for Bob and Belinda Bond.

[Okay, that sounds less like Wisconsin and more like Chicago with those dragging vowels. He's half-channeling Saul here.]

[morethan084]

[Skye is trying so hard not to laugh and failing. Turning her head towards his neck he would be able to hear her giggling and possibly a snort might've just came out.]

Oh honey, can we afford that?

[Her whole body is shaking at this point from stifling her laughter.]

[hostage]

Yah, yah. Don'tcha worry about that now. Money's no object, my li'l cheesecake.

[He slaps a wad of cash onto the counter. The clerk appears most unimpressed by these antics, fetching the room key as fast as possible just to get these idiots out of the way.]

[morethan084]

[As soon as the clerk's back is turned, Skye's forehead falls onto Jesse's shoulder as she lets out a wheezing laugh.]

My lil' cheesecake.

[And her laughter is progressively becoming louder and more obnoxious. She hasn't laughed in what felt like weeks.]

I'm so glad I married you.

[hostage]

Awww, hon.

[He lays a wet kiss to Skye's temple before the clerk turns back around, practically shoving the room key at Jesse. Okay, okay - They'll get outta here. On to the elevator.]

[morethan084]

[As soon as the elevator door closes, Skye slides down onto the floor in an absolute fit of laughter.]

He totally fell for it.

[No he didn't.]

[hostage]

[Snickering uncontrollably, Jesse takes hold of Skye's hands in an attempt to pick her back up.]

Yeah. Yeah, totally. You really put those super-spy skills to work.

[morethan084]

[Skye lets him pull her back up but she is making no effort on her part.]

I'm going to pee myself.

[So attractive.]

Yeah, well, I've always been good at making up stories. It's a gift.

[hostage]

[Somehow, Jesse Pinkman is unfazed.]

I can tell. Natural talent.

[They've reached their floor, and Jesse's half-carrying Skye at this point, with her weight on his shoulder.]

[morethan084]

[Skye has calmed down, just a little.]

I totally wusses out on doing the accent, but, yours made up for it.

[Skye likes walking and yet not really putting any effort into it. Even if that means Jesse has all her weight on him.]

That was the most entertaining thing I've seen weeks. I can see why you like doing it.

[hostage]

Well... It ain't usually that entertaining.

[The effort was all for her. No one else has ever witnessed such a performance from him.

Once they've reached their floor, it's on down the hall and into their room. The honeymoon suite is hardly impressive compared to the beach house, as Jesse predicted. But it is wonderfully kitsch and garish.]

[morethan084]

[Skye refuses to move into the room once he's opened the door.]

Uh, aren't you forgetting something?

[She gives him barely a second to guess what she means before she speaks up again.]

You've got to carry your bride over the threshold.