[Jesse's glad that Kotetsu sounds disappointed. He should be disappointed. God, it makes so much sense to disappoint people. More sense than all the praise or even the criticism of his so-called martyr behavior.]
No. I don't kill people for money. And I do sell my power. Just not to the kinda people you'd see me healing in public.
It's not enough. Even all the stuff I'm doing isn't enough. Do you have any idea how much it's gonna cost? Us freeing ourselves. How much land, how much technology, how many weapons and body armor we're gonna need? How many allies we're gonna have to buy? I make over a million dollars a week and three-quarters of that gets sunk back into keeping it all running. Just keeping up the goddamn status quo.
[Jesse didn't mean just his own freedom. It suddenly clicks now, all those things he couldn't seem to make sense out of. The contradictions aren't quite so puzzling anymore, now that he sees the bigger picture. The disappointment that was coloring his features shifts, becomes something almost helpless as he rakes one hand in his hair.]
Dammit, Jesse--we never asked you to do anything like that for us.
[There's a tone of frustration in his voice, but it's not angry frustration. Because all this makes way too much sense, and he feels--upset? distressed? annoyed? he doesn't know--that Jesse's suffered so much for something like this. Something so stupid and noble and did he mention stupid.]
I don't--I don't want it, and I don't think I'd be the only one.
[He jerks up his arm, that REGISTERED tattoo just barely visible in the dimmer light of the bar.]
This--getting rid of these? It's not worth it, not if it costs the lives of people who won't come back. How could any of us accept that freedom, knowing what was sacrificed in the process?
Yeah, well, I don't really care how anybody else feels about it.
[Which, in a way, brings him back to his original point.]
None of you know what it's like. Real slavery. You think Registration's like paying taxes, and it's kinda shitty but it comes with benefits, and you get to walk around and live your life and go home to a cozy little house the government gave you. And maybe, yeah, if we're lucky, it's gonna stay like this. Maybe I'm just paranoid, like those guys who stock up on canned food 'cause they think doomsday is coming.
But I've lived it: Sleeping in a cage, shitting in a bucket, getting beaten, getting called "rat" or "pussy" or anything other than my name. You stop being human to the people who own you. That's inevitable. And that was my life, man. Not some "what-if".
And I can guarantee you, when that happens to you... You're gonna stop thinking about what's "right" or what's "wrong" or whether anything was "worth it". If that day never comes for us here, then thank god for that. But I'm not waiting 'til it's too late, and I'm sure as hell not worrying about how people who don't even know what it's like might think they feel about it.
[Kotetsu's stunned, for a long moment. It's clear that whatever he'd expected when Jesse told him something worse than dying had happened to him, it wasn't this.
Not that it makes him agree with this plan any more, and he's torn at first, whether or not he'd actually prefer Jesse to be doing this for himself rather than everyone after all, knowing this new piece of information.
He almost doesn't say anything about it at all, knowing anything he could come up with would be woefully inadequate. But in the end, he's not cold enough to leave such a thing unremarked upon.]
That sounds like hell, I'm so sorry.
[He finally reaches for his drink again, the one that's gone untouched since the conversation went suddenly down this road. He finishes the glass before speaking again.]
...Still, it's not--you can't make that call for all of us. I get wanting to protect yourself as much as you can, after all that, but...but if you say you're doing it for us, that sort of puts some of that blood and suffering on our hands too, you know? And we never asked for it.
This world's different from yours, too. We've all got powers, and there's hundreds of us. We've always taken care of each other when crap went down before--we could protect each other if the government tried to turn on us.
[Jesse's not looking for comfort. He brushes off those token words of sympathy. He didn't want them before his scars healed and he doesn't want them now, when the only evidence of what he went through is relegated to memory.]
Let's see how you feel when it's happening. When all those friends you're counting on realize it's every man for himself and start goose stepping just so they get a nicer cell.
[He's confident Kotetsu will be singing a different tune after a week or a month or a year of torture.]
That's never how it's been before. Even when the Hornets were literally hijacking people's brains and making them attack each other, or the time with the fear gas, we still looked out for each other, tried to protect each other. Why do you think it'd be different if it was the government we were up against, rather than Lunatic or Lucifer or Crane or the Hornets?
Anyway, aren't there imPorts who could just make all that stuff for you? Like the technopaths and the reality benders and such.
[Well, maybe they wouldn't be so willing to just mass-produce weapons, but the other stuff, right? Who could be opposed to a shelter and an emergency stockpile of food and water and medical supplies, and all that?]
Edited (ACCIDENTALLY REPEATED A THING ) 2016-05-10 05:09 (UTC)
This might be a shock to you, but imPorts still wanna get paid for their services.
[And that's as much as he'll say on that topic, lest he inadvertently cast suspicion on Elsa or any of his other employees.]
You're talking about Lucifer and Lunatic and Crane - They're imPorts, too, aren't they? That's exactly the point. There's always gonna be imPorts doing what's best for themselves. They're not protecting us, right? They're not looking out for everybody. When the government comes for us, it's gonna be the same damn thing: imPorts turning on each other.
You wanna stop that from happening, you gotta be the guy who can make the better offer. Not everybody does things outta the goodness of their hearts. Some people just want the best fucking deal they can get.
You can't just--talk like we're all like that. Like we're all just waiting for an excuse to screw each other over. We wouldn't all try so hard to fix it when one of us pulls crap if it was just every person for themselves.
It's not...a bad idea, having a shelter, and all that, but there's better ways. Have you even--asked anyone if they would help? I'd have helped, if you asked me. I bet Bunny would've, too.
Of course I asked people. But when you got guys like Tony Stark all oo-rah for the government, working on stuff like power nullifiers, you'd have to be a total idiot to put out a wide call for imPorts to get in on this. You gotta vet people before you recruit 'em for something like this, and once they're in, you gotta pay to keep their mouths shut and keep 'em loyal.
But what the hell do you know, anyway? You're a professional hero. You don't even think about this stuff, 'cause you never had to. You're happy to take orders and get the job done, and then you get to take off your mask and go home without a target on your back. You actually think the system's gonna protect you. You actually believe we're all gonna come outta this holding hands. You don't know what it's like to live for years with everybody around you trying to kill you.
And I'm done talking about this. I shoulda known you were drinking the Kool-Aid. Being straight with you was a mistake and you're gonna make me pay for it.
[The way Jesse steps back is more like a retreat, his hands up in mock surrender, as if he fully expects Kotetsu to make the arrest right now.]
I don't wanna make you pay for it, you idiot, I wanna help you!
[To save him from himself, maybe.]
You don't even want to keep living this life, do you, but you're convinced it's the only way, and it doesn't have to be.
[But Jesse's already retreating, isn't he? Nothing he can say will change his mind. Why does this keep happening? Damn it. Damn it. What the hell is he supposed to do now?]
If you really wanna help me, then stay outta my way.
[It's as much a plea as it is a threat. The last thing he wants is to hurt Kotetsu, but he won't go quietly into another cell - which is surely Kotetsu's idea of "help", since he's siding with the law on this one.
Jesse takes those last few steps more quickly, and then he's out the door.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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No. I don't kill people for money. And I do sell my power. Just not to the kinda people you'd see me healing in public.
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[Jesse didn't mean just his own freedom. It suddenly clicks now, all those things he couldn't seem to make sense out of. The contradictions aren't quite so puzzling anymore, now that he sees the bigger picture. The disappointment that was coloring his features shifts, becomes something almost helpless as he rakes one hand in his hair.]
Dammit, Jesse--we never asked you to do anything like that for us.
[There's a tone of frustration in his voice, but it's not angry frustration. Because all this makes way too much sense, and he feels--upset? distressed? annoyed? he doesn't know--that Jesse's suffered so much for something like this. Something so stupid and noble and did he mention stupid.]
I don't--I don't want it, and I don't think I'd be the only one.
[He jerks up his arm, that REGISTERED tattoo just barely visible in the dimmer light of the bar.]
This--getting rid of these? It's not worth it, not if it costs the lives of people who won't come back. How could any of us accept that freedom, knowing what was sacrificed in the process?
no subject
[Which, in a way, brings him back to his original point.]
None of you know what it's like. Real slavery. You think Registration's like paying taxes, and it's kinda shitty but it comes with benefits, and you get to walk around and live your life and go home to a cozy little house the government gave you. And maybe, yeah, if we're lucky, it's gonna stay like this. Maybe I'm just paranoid, like those guys who stock up on canned food 'cause they think doomsday is coming.
But I've lived it: Sleeping in a cage, shitting in a bucket, getting beaten, getting called "rat" or "pussy" or anything other than my name. You stop being human to the people who own you. That's inevitable. And that was my life, man. Not some "what-if".
And I can guarantee you, when that happens to you... You're gonna stop thinking about what's "right" or what's "wrong" or whether anything was "worth it". If that day never comes for us here, then thank god for that. But I'm not waiting 'til it's too late, and I'm sure as hell not worrying about how people who don't even know what it's like might think they feel about it.
no subject
Not that it makes him agree with this plan any more, and he's torn at first, whether or not he'd actually prefer Jesse to be doing this for himself rather than everyone after all, knowing this new piece of information.
He almost doesn't say anything about it at all, knowing anything he could come up with would be woefully inadequate. But in the end, he's not cold enough to leave such a thing unremarked upon.]
That sounds like hell, I'm so sorry.
[He finally reaches for his drink again, the one that's gone untouched since the conversation went suddenly down this road. He finishes the glass before speaking again.]
...Still, it's not--you can't make that call for all of us. I get wanting to protect yourself as much as you can, after all that, but...but if you say you're doing it for us, that sort of puts some of that blood and suffering on our hands too, you know? And we never asked for it.
This world's different from yours, too. We've all got powers, and there's hundreds of us. We've always taken care of each other when crap went down before--we could protect each other if the government tried to turn on us.
no subject
Let's see how you feel when it's happening. When all those friends you're counting on realize it's every man for himself and start goose stepping just so they get a nicer cell.
[He's confident Kotetsu will be singing a different tune after a week or a month or a year of torture.]
no subject
That's never how it's been before. Even when the Hornets were literally hijacking people's brains and making them attack each other, or the time with the fear gas, we still looked out for each other, tried to protect each other. Why do you think it'd be different if it was the government we were up against, rather than Lunatic or Lucifer or Crane or the Hornets?
Anyway, aren't there imPorts who could just make all that stuff for you? Like the technopaths and the reality benders and such.
[Well, maybe they wouldn't be so willing to just mass-produce weapons, but the other stuff, right? Who could be opposed to a shelter and an emergency stockpile of food and water and medical supplies, and all that?]
no subject
[And that's as much as he'll say on that topic, lest he inadvertently cast suspicion on Elsa or any of his other employees.]
You're talking about Lucifer and Lunatic and Crane - They're imPorts, too, aren't they? That's exactly the point. There's always gonna be imPorts doing what's best for themselves. They're not protecting us, right? They're not looking out for everybody. When the government comes for us, it's gonna be the same damn thing: imPorts turning on each other.
You wanna stop that from happening, you gotta be the guy who can make the better offer. Not everybody does things outta the goodness of their hearts. Some people just want the best fucking deal they can get.
no subject
You can't just--talk like we're all like that. Like we're all just waiting for an excuse to screw each other over. We wouldn't all try so hard to fix it when one of us pulls crap if it was just every person for themselves.
It's not...a bad idea, having a shelter, and all that, but there's better ways. Have you even--asked anyone if they would help? I'd have helped, if you asked me. I bet Bunny would've, too.
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But what the hell do you know, anyway? You're a professional hero. You don't even think about this stuff, 'cause you never had to. You're happy to take orders and get the job done, and then you get to take off your mask and go home without a target on your back. You actually think the system's gonna protect you. You actually believe we're all gonna come outta this holding hands. You don't know what it's like to live for years with everybody around you trying to kill you.
And I'm done talking about this. I shoulda known you were drinking the Kool-Aid. Being straight with you was a mistake and you're gonna make me pay for it.
[The way Jesse steps back is more like a retreat, his hands up in mock surrender, as if he fully expects Kotetsu to make the arrest right now.]
no subject
[To save him from himself, maybe.]
You don't even want to keep living this life, do you, but you're convinced it's the only way, and it doesn't have to be.
[But Jesse's already retreating, isn't he? Nothing he can say will change his mind. Why does this keep happening? Damn it. Damn it. What the hell is he supposed to do now?]
no subject
[It's as much a plea as it is a threat. The last thing he wants is to hurt Kotetsu, but he won't go quietly into another cell - which is surely Kotetsu's idea of "help", since he's siding with the law on this one.
Jesse takes those last few steps more quickly, and then he's out the door.]