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[hostage]

SCI » 008 » 024

_“ Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing. _”

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

...Oh. I...utilized an anatomy text.

[kicktomorrow]

[A long, long silence, because Jane is torn between dismay and hysterical laughter.]

Edgeworth, it's...a lot more complicated than that. And better.

[jurisimpudent]

So I've heard. From everyone on this damned ship. Since none of them ever stop talking about it.

[kicktomorrow]

I noticed.

I can explain it to you, okay? Do you think that could help? At least then you'd actually know something and not be stuck on an anatomy textbook.

[jurisimpudent]

I - That's - I know what sex consists of, thank you! Explanations are completely - completely - unnecessary.

[kicktomorrow]

Take a breath, s--Edgeworth.

[jurisimpudent]

I am breathing!

[kicktomorrow]

You're upset. Count backwards from thirty for me.

[jurisimpudent]

I will not. And I'm not going to be condescended to!

[kicktomorrow]

I'm not trying to condescend to you.

You're a lawyer, right? You want to know the facts? How can you do your job if you don't get this? It's an enormous part of the human condition whether you have it or not.

[jurisimpudent]

I - I know the facts already. Like I said: I've seen textbooks.

[kicktomorrow]

There's facts, and then there's the way it feel when someone draws their fingers down the back of your neck and kisses you under your jaw. It's not the same thing.

[jurisimpudent]

[...distracting.]

Well, I do not see how...that would help me win a case.

[kicktomorrow]

[She hasn't even started yet.]

It helps you understand why people do things. War, art, murder, revolution--people do all kinds of things for sex and love. If you're missing that you don't know this essential part of how most people live. Have you ever let someone just hold you for a while? Touch your hair? Tell you they wouldn't want to be anywhere else that minute except with you?

[jurisimpudent]

Of - of course I haven't. [He tries to firm his jaw:] Frankly, even if they were to do such a thing, it would most likely just be because they were seeking blackmail material. Why would I allow that weakness?

[kicktomorrow]

That's what you think? Why wouldn't someone just wsnt to be with you? You're not a terrible person, and I'm a good judge of character. You're sweet. Maybe too earnest, but its endearing. So why not?

[jurisimpudent]

I am not - [He flushes.] I am not sweet. You're new here, so you of course do not yet know, but I'm very...mean. As a person. Ask anyone.

[kicktomorrow]

Sorry, I just know the guy who stepped in to set up a stranger with two people who could help her kick a heroin habit. And I'm an a sarcastic piece of work, personally. I still have people who want me.

[jurisimpudent]

...Well, you're also clearly quite intelligent and self-confident, both of which are attractive qualities.

[kicktomorrow]

And you're not?

[jurisimpudent]

Irrelevant.

[kicktomorrow]

I object. How is that irrelevant?

[jurisimpudent]

[Hrngh.]

Can we kindly not discuss my personal characteristics?

[kicktomorrow]

But they're pertinent to the discussion. If we accept that I'm intelligent and self-confident, ergo I'm deserving of affection, then if you're intelligent and self-confident--which you obviously are--then why are you the exception? Talking about personal issues means it's relevant.

[She has half a fine arts degree from a good university, all right.]

[jurisimpudent]

Perhaps I have unpleasant characteristics which you lack.