hostage | EXSILIUM

[She looks sad about it, so Jesse won't press further. He pokes at his food some more.]

I used to wanna be a superhero. I made up like a million stories when I was a kid. Drew comics, too. So... So lame.

I think a lot of kids do that.

[It's strange to think about it from the perspective of a world without them, where they only exist in comic books and movies.]

The first costume I designed was so bad, I mean - really, it was awful. There was just way too much going on, and I still thought you needed briefs on the outside of the costume to be a real hero.

[She manages a genuine smile, sharing something that's a little more cheesy and ridiculous, like it might help lighten the mood a bit.]

And everyone thought I was a dude.

See, but it's awesome, 'cause at least you got to wear it.

[She huffs a laugh, but her expression softens after a moment.]

It was more awesome seeing my dad get shoved in the back of a police car.

[That's what it was about at the start, not being a hero, she just wanted to stop her dad.]

Yeah.

[Jesse draws back uncomfortably, all of a sudden interested in his food again.]

Yeah, I bet.

[Wow, Brown.]

Sorry.

[Smooth.]

Nah, don't worry about it.

I'm pretty sure I should apologize when I say stupid shit.

[She tries to keep her tone light, as if that might make this less awkward.]

[This is unbelievably not even close to the most awkward dinner he's had.]

It wasn't stupid.

It was kinda thoughtless.

["Kinda"]

It was honest.

[That actually gives her pause, and she considers him for a moment before working out what to say.]

A lot of people aren't a fan of honest.

Those are people who never really been lied to.

Are there actually people like that in the world?

[She seems to mean that as a genuine question.

Doesn't everyone spend most of their lives being lied to?]

I mean really, really lied to.

[She frowns at her plate, seemingly having a bit of trouble with that, trying to think it over. She knew what he meant, really really lied to, but it's still hard to imagine people who have had a life where people tell them the truth.

After a little while, she just admits:] I don't think I can wrap my head around that.

Well, that's the world we're in, right? Secret identities, secret organizations, secret everything. But there's normal people out there.

But even without all the superhero shit, people are still assholes. [Which is what she's struggling to grasp, the idea that some people have lives where there's not at least one shitty person in them.] Adults, mostly, but you know.

[Nevermind that she's technically an adult.]

Not all of 'em. Not most of 'em. I think most people're good. Or they're trying to be.

[More silence for a moment, more pushing her food around her plate without eating it.]

I dunno if I can afford to think like that. [Which isn't to say that he's wrong, because she does have a lot of faith in people, most of the time.

A sigh.] Or just-- maybe you're right, but people being good doesn't mean they don't lie to or hurt the people around them.

[Bruce, Babs, Saul. She's pretty sure none of them wanted to hurt her, but they've still lied to her, they've still ended up hurting her anyway.]

I guess it's your job to think like that.

[That gets a smile, albeit a wry one]

And I'm the cheerful one of us.

[Us meaning the Bats.]

I'm not sure what that says about Gotham's vigilantes.

Hey, well, I'm not supposed to think at all. You're probably better off.

You're pretty smart, you know that, right?

[Which probably isn't the logical progression of conversation, but she feels like it's important to say.]

[Hey, it's okay to admit now that Mr. White isn't here. Jesse spreads his hands in a grand, sardonic gesture.]

Too smart for my own good.

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