MASK OR MENACE - contact.

[hostage]

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[hostage]

[The real thought of Joel being alive, here, in this world, while Jesse chooses to not so much as see him... It twists Jesse's heart up in his chest. His throat goes tight and he nods mutely, because he can't say the words. Joel is his family. Joel's been his family since before Daisy even came into his life.]

[morethan084]

You can't even say it out loud.

[He's just proving her point.]

[hostage]

I'll stay - I'll stay away from him.

[Honest to god, he's trying, here.]

[morethan084]

That doesn't make me feel any better about this.

[She knows she's just complicating things further but how she felt about this whole thing was complicated.]

[hostage]

I don't know what else to do.

[morethan084]

Neither do I.

[Tilting her head back as she let out a deep breath, Daisy pushed her hands against her eyes before they fell back into her lap.]

I don't want to break up with you. I just wanted you to be honest with me without me having to force it out of you.

[hostage]

It's just... There's so much, you know, I don't even understand. What I feel or what I want. Even if I wanted to talk about it, I couldn't. It's not like I'm trying to hide stuff from you or lie to you. But, like - Joel and me, that's not the same as you and me. It's different.

I'm not in love with him, not the way I'm in love with you. But... I do care about him. I don't know if there's a word for what he is to me. I don't know how to talk about it.

[morethan084]

[There isn't anything else she can say that she hasn't said already. Defeated, Daisy closed her eyes and moved to put her head on his shoulder.]

I don't regret slamming him into the wall.

[hostage]

This isn't his fault. It's mine.

[morethan084]

No. That was his fault. He was being a dick.

[hostage]

...Okay, yeah. He was.

But I wish you could know him like I know him. He's not all bad. He's just scared all the time.

[morethan084]

That's no excuse for the way he treats me. I never started any of this with him. I tried to make things right with him. At fanport.

[hostage]

What happened at FanPort?

[morethan084]

We ran into each other. I tried to talk with him, I thought it was going somewhere. Apparently not.

[hostage]

Yeah. He's not great at that.

[morethan084]

I've tried to be nice, but if he just continues to see me as the person who almost shot you then that's his problem.

[hostage]

Would you forgive him that easy, if he almost killed me?

I know it's not your fault. You don't even remember it. It's just... all he really knows about you is how you hurt me. Just like all you know about him is he's a total asshole.

[morethan084]

[Sighing, Daisy lifted her head to look at him.]

Point taken.

[Moving her feet in the water, Daisy pushed off of him completely so she could lean forward and rest her arms against her knees.]

[hostage]

[Jesse looks away, then, turning his eyes to the water.]

I'm sorry. About everything. I wish I wasn't like this.

[morethan084]

Like what?

[hostage]

Fucked up.

[morethan084]

[Daisy let out a bitter snort in response.]

We all are.

[hostage]

Not like this.

We almost had it, you know? Something good. And I messed it all up again.

[morethan084]

I don't want to be responsible for you being upset for giving up Joel.

[hostage]

That's not on you. It's... normal. That's what normal people want from somebody they're with.