EXSILIUM - contact.

[hostage]

UNIT№409



_“ Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing. _”

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[hostage]

[Jesse's paying far more attention to her story than his meal, but when she pauses for a bite, he quickly shovels pasta into his mouth and then takes his time chewing and contemplating. After he swallows, he feels like he should say something:]

It sounds like it's awesome.

[And he sounds a little jealous.]

[controlledvariable]

It can be.

[It's part of why she still does it, why she kept with it even after putting her dad behind bars, because it really is like being invincible, and that was a feeling she wanted to hold on to when she had no control over the rest of her life.]

We never really saw eye to eye about a lot of things. And he fired me, in the end.

[Her smile is sad, rueful, before she has another bite.]

[hostage]

[She looks sad about it, so Jesse won't press further. He pokes at his food some more.]

I used to wanna be a superhero. I made up like a million stories when I was a kid. Drew comics, too. So... So lame.

[controlledvariable]

I think a lot of kids do that.

[It's strange to think about it from the perspective of a world without them, where they only exist in comic books and movies.]

The first costume I designed was so bad, I mean - really, it was awful. There was just way too much going on, and I still thought you needed briefs on the outside of the costume to be a real hero.

[She manages a genuine smile, sharing something that's a little more cheesy and ridiculous, like it might help lighten the mood a bit.]

And everyone thought I was a dude.

[hostage]

See, but it's awesome, 'cause at least you got to wear it.

[controlledvariable]

[She huffs a laugh, but her expression softens after a moment.]

It was more awesome seeing my dad get shoved in the back of a police car.

[That's what it was about at the start, not being a hero, she just wanted to stop her dad.]

[hostage]

Yeah.

[Jesse draws back uncomfortably, all of a sudden interested in his food again.]

Yeah, I bet.

[controlledvariable]

[Wow, Brown.]

Sorry.

[Smooth.]

[hostage]

Nah, don't worry about it.

[controlledvariable]

I'm pretty sure I should apologize when I say stupid shit.

[She tries to keep her tone light, as if that might make this less awkward.]

[hostage]

[This is unbelievably not even close to the most awkward dinner he's had.]

It wasn't stupid.

[controlledvariable]

It was kinda thoughtless.

["Kinda"]

[hostage]

It was honest.

[controlledvariable]

[That actually gives her pause, and she considers him for a moment before working out what to say.]

A lot of people aren't a fan of honest.

[hostage]

Those are people who never really been lied to.

[controlledvariable]

Are there actually people like that in the world?

[She seems to mean that as a genuine question.

Doesn't everyone spend most of their lives being lied to?]

[hostage]

I mean really, really lied to.

[controlledvariable]

[She frowns at her plate, seemingly having a bit of trouble with that, trying to think it over. She knew what he meant, really really lied to, but it's still hard to imagine people who have had a life where people tell them the truth.

After a little while, she just admits:] I don't think I can wrap my head around that.

[hostage]

Well, that's the world we're in, right? Secret identities, secret organizations, secret everything. But there's normal people out there.

[controlledvariable]

But even without all the superhero shit, people are still assholes. [Which is what she's struggling to grasp, the idea that some people have lives where there's not at least one shitty person in them.] Adults, mostly, but you know.

[Nevermind that she's technically an adult.]

[hostage]

Not all of 'em. Not most of 'em. I think most people're good. Or they're trying to be.

[controlledvariable]

[More silence for a moment, more pushing her food around her plate without eating it.]

I dunno if I can afford to think like that. [Which isn't to say that he's wrong, because she does have a lot of faith in people, most of the time.

A sigh.] Or just-- maybe you're right, but people being good doesn't mean they don't lie to or hurt the people around them.

[Bruce, Babs, Saul. She's pretty sure none of them wanted to hurt her, but they've still lied to her, they've still ended up hurting her anyway.]

[hostage]

I guess it's your job to think like that.

[controlledvariable]

[That gets a smile, albeit a wry one]

And I'm the cheerful one of us.

[Us meaning the Bats.]

I'm not sure what that says about Gotham's vigilantes.

[hostage]

Hey, well, I'm not supposed to think at all. You're probably better off.