[It literally only takes him a minute. Partially because he doesn't want to keep her waiting, but also because he wants to minimize the risk of Walt seeing him. When he knocks on the door, he speaks up so she knows:]
[She comes to the door, giving him a meek but genuine smile. It's clear she hasn't slept well, but she manages to keep herself looking sane. Not at her top, but not bad either. She doesn't check the halls, but she would like to.
That seems too paranoid. That's too paranoid, right?
Moving back, she gives a tighter smile.]
It's good to see you. [After the fiasco of the last week.]
[Jesse checks for her, glancing over his shoulder as he enters, just to be sure he's not being followed. And he most definitely is paranoid. Thankfully, he's doing a lot better than most are probably expecting. He looks sober. That's an accomplishment in and of itself. But he's also been sleeping better than last time this happened. There's a lot to be said for being watched over by Mike.
It catches him by surprise when she smiles at him, and he smiles back briefly before it hits him how exhausted she looks.]
Yeah, me, too. [Heavy on the 'not screwing it up again' part.]
He's-- he's going to target you. I'm sorry. What he thinks-- you and I. He doesn't realize that we're close because of him, what he did. Not-- [Not what he thinks.]
[He doesn't laugh, because it's not funny, exactly. She's 100% MILF material, no joke about it, and he would hit it in a heartbeat. But it's also 100% ridiculous that that is the conclusion Mr. White would jump to after seeing them together for a few minutes. Jesse almost asks if this is about the affair thing she mentioned way back when, but he has just enough tact not to. His mouth opens and shuts a few times while he tries to figure out something more polite to say, and what he settles on is:]
Yeah, it's crazy. [She smiles. She says it not because it isn't feasible, but well-- Jesse is younger and attractive. And she's married to the psychopath who has utterly traumatized him. That's not really dating material.]
I mean not that you-- [Sky realizes what she's saying, but what does she even say? She sighs. He's making her crazy.]
It's Walt. He doesn't even know about Ted, yet, and this is what I get. [So tired of the 'affair' card being played.]
To him, I took a side. [Because that's truly how he thinks. Blacks and whites, and just-- justifying everything in those parameters. That he can do no wrong.
I know-- it's not just that. [It's everything. She rubs her eyebrows and sighs.]
It's everything. My marriage has finally fallen a part. I mean, I expected it. I did. I knew last month, thinking about it all. It's over. But thinking about it? Seeing him?
How do I go on? Because I just see myself shutting down. And I can't stop it, Jesse. I just-- get so mad when I think about it. And it's at myself, and it's at him. And then it's just-- nothing. I feel nothing.
[And that's actually scarier than anything. She's supposed to care more. She's supposed to feel something, right? Not just give up.]
[Jesse's expression softens again. These are problems a lot more familiar to him. But they're also problems he really sucks at dealing with. He's got no words of comfort or advice. It used to be he used drugs to numb himself. Now he's just settled into the pain. He's not about to tell her to do the same, though, because she deserves better than misery.
He reaches out to touch her arm. He hopes that's okay. She didn't seem to mind before. Maybe it even helped.]
There's gonna be a whole future that doesn't have him in it. Whatever comes next is gonna be better than how it used to be, right? We gotta go on so we can get there.
I shoulda brought him to Mike. I shoulda... I dunno. I shoulda done anything but what I did. You shouldn'ta ever had to see him again, like ever. And all it did was get him mad at you.
I'm a fucking idiot. If he was ever right about anything, it's that. I thought, like - I dunno. I thought maybe back then he used to tell the truth or something. But then, yeah, he said that, and I guess... I guess it was always bullshit, with him. And I shoulda known that.
You're not, Jesse. [She softens, her hand moving to take his. Sky completely understands why he did what he did, even if Walt is the last person she would ever want to see regardless of when in their timeline they are from.]
You hoped. [That he wasn't the man he would become, that they could stop it from happening, that things could be good.
But Walt is Walt, and she doesn't know how she missed it all these years.]
[His throat tightens and his voice catches. He remembers what Saul said, about how it was Jesse's fault and how he forced her to have to see her... her maniac of a husband, Saul'd called him.
Fuck hope. It should have been obvious. It was obvious to everyone else.]
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It's Jesse.
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That seems too paranoid. That's too paranoid, right?
Moving back, she gives a tighter smile.]
It's good to see you. [After the fiasco of the last week.]
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It catches him by surprise when she smiles at him, and he smiles back briefly before it hits him how exhausted she looks.]
Hey, yeah. You, um... You holding up okay?
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Have-- have you seen him?
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He's-- he's going to target you. I'm sorry. What he thinks-- you and I. He doesn't realize that we're close because of him, what he did. Not-- [Not what he thinks.]
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Whaddya mean?
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Walter. He thinks it's a you versus him thing. That I chose you because-- [Oh this is-- well, what is it?]
He thinks we're sleeping together. [Please take the telepathy back now.]
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...Wow.
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I mean not that you-- [Sky realizes what she's saying, but what does she even say? She sighs. He's making her crazy.]
It's Walt. He doesn't even know about Ted, yet, and this is what I get. [So tired of the 'affair' card being played.]
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[That incredulous expression slips into concern, though.]
Wait, he's not like pissed at you, is he? It's just me, right?
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Her skin is crawling.]
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Yeah: the winning side. Don't worry, Skyler. I ain't gonna let him touch you.
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I wouldn't doubt you. [Even if they both failed spectacularly.]
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I mean it, I'm looking out for you. So if that's been keeping you up at night, you can start sleeping better now.
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It's everything. My marriage has finally fallen a part. I mean, I expected it. I did. I knew last month, thinking about it all. It's over. But thinking about it? Seeing him?
How do I go on? Because I just see myself shutting down. And I can't stop it, Jesse. I just-- get so mad when I think about it. And it's at myself, and it's at him. And then it's just-- nothing. I feel nothing.
[And that's actually scarier than anything. She's supposed to care more. She's supposed to feel something, right? Not just give up.]
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He reaches out to touch her arm. He hopes that's okay. She didn't seem to mind before. Maybe it even helped.]
There's gonna be a whole future that doesn't have him in it. Whatever comes next is gonna be better than how it used to be, right? We gotta go on so we can get there.
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I know. I just-- don't know what to do now.
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I'm sorry. I mean, for putting you through all this.
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You've been so strong during this. [Stronger than her, she thinks.]
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I can't believe he brought up my hair.
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You hoped. [That he wasn't the man he would become, that they could stop it from happening, that things could be good.
But Walt is Walt, and she doesn't know how she missed it all these years.]
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I didn't -
[His throat tightens and his voice catches. He remembers what Saul said, about how it was Jesse's fault and how he forced her to have to see her... her maniac of a husband, Saul'd called him.
Fuck hope. It should have been obvious. It was obvious to everyone else.]
I didn't mean to do that to you.
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