Being crazy just means you got chemicals messed up in your head. Drugs balance you out. Like, assuming you're on the right ones. Probably what'll happen when they dope me up is just I'll be sleepier. Docile, you know? That's what they like to call it.
[She appreciates the explanation, because she has no idea about drugs being used to try and fix this sort of stuff. Still, it doesn't really sit right with her when she doesn't think Jesse is crazy.]
Docile. [That doesn't sit right, either.] In a war.
Yeah. I get that, at least. [Turn him into a zombie and set him free after painting a target on his back. Real nice. But maybe that is better than being a prisoner.]
Where I come from, you could never pull any of this shit. Holding somebody for weeks without pressing charges, telling 'em they must be guilty 'cause they're asking for a lawyer... When they first arrested me, Sonya said they'd torture and starve me. Sure as shit wouldn't hear anybody with the police saying that back in my world. There ain't even laws here, so how could I have broke any?
And solitary... Solitary's a big deal. You don't just throw anybody in solitary.
[He sucks in a breath.]
I think all this... It ain't about what I did. It's about what I can do. I dunno what the answer to that's gonna be. All I know's they don't give a shit about me being "healthy". They wanna control me.
[There's a small sigh and a sniff as Ellie listens. She hates that there's nothing she can do. Jesse's outnumbered and not even Steph seems to be in his corner.]
Fuck that chick.
You're not any more dangerous than anyone else out there. You didn't start a goddamn mutiny. You didn't even kill anyone. No one was fucking complaining when we went to the UE.
I'm sorry. [She wonders how quick Steph would drop her if she ended up having to kill people here, or do something else terrible. She loved her, but she said she loved Jesse, too.]
If I knew what to do, or if I could, I would. You know, do something. [She can't really do anything right now aside from be angry on his behalf.]
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[He sounds like he's trying to tell a joke. Trying...]
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[Nope. She'd half expect the fuckers to try that.]
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Docile. [That doesn't sit right, either.] In a war.
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I hope they're listening to this thing.
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We'll still hang out even if you're sleepier.
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[He's trying not to sound sad, but... He sounds sad.]
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And solitary... Solitary's a big deal. You don't just throw anybody in solitary.
[He sucks in a breath.]
I think all this... It ain't about what I did. It's about what I can do. I dunno what the answer to that's gonna be. All I know's they don't give a shit about me being "healthy". They wanna control me.
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Fuck that chick.
You're not any more dangerous than anyone else out there. You didn't start a goddamn mutiny. You didn't even kill anyone. No one was fucking complaining when we went to the UE.
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Is Saul doing anything?
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Saul's covering his ass is what he's doing. Knows a lost cause when he sees one.
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If I knew what to do, or if I could, I would. You know, do something. [She can't really do anything right now aside from be angry on his behalf.]
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Hey. You're like one of the only people who's still talking to me. You're already doing something.
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[And by hate she means it terrifies her. She hopes they're not alike in that regard.]
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[If anything's going to make him actually lose his mind, it's this. But he doesn't want to scare her.]
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