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[hostage]

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[morethan084]

But you're still having sex with him, Jesse!

[Yep, now she's showing her anger.]

[hostage]

You want me to stop, I'll stop. Christ, just... tell me what you want.

[morethan084]

I wanted you to tell me! And you didn't.

How long were you going to keep doing this and not tell me?!

[hostage]

I don't know, okay?

Me and him... It happened when you were gone, when you and me were over. Then he disappeared and you started falling for me again and that's - that's perfect for me, okay? Because I love you and I wanna be with you for the rest of my life. That's all I ever wanted. I wanted that even when you hated me and never wanted to see me again. I was ready to let you kill me because I didn't see any goddamn point in going on without you.

But Joel - He disappears for a half hour and comes back here and suddenly it's months later. He's got nobody but me and all he can see is me falling for the girl who almost put a bullet in my head a year ago. And he thinks I'm being a total idiot but, yeah, he cares about me. And he wants to be with me. And I don't know what to tell him, because we were fine and he blinked and now we're not fine. All because of some fucking Porter.

What am I supposed to do? When you love people and they just disappear and reappear like that, what do you do with that?

[morethan084]

[Why couldn't he say all of this before? The only reason she could think of was because he hoped she would never catch him. And then he says the words that just prove her point, despite him lying to her face about it.]

If you love him then why would you say you'd stop?

[hostage]

Because I'd do anything for you.

[morethan084]

[That is adorable.]

Really? You would? Anything?

[What are full sentences? Not something Daisy was capable of right now, that's what.]

[hostage]

Yes.

[Why the hell does she sound like she doesn't believe him?]

[morethan084]

[Because right now she can't.]

But that's not what you want to do, is it? Because if it was, you would have done it already. When you and I became whatever this is. When I told you I loved you. But you didn't.

[hostage]

I don't wanna hurt him. I don't wanna hurt you. I don't know what to do, okay? Just tell me.

[morethan084]

Well it's too late for that one.

[He knew she had trust issues. This was just a prime example as to why.]

I'm not going to tell you what to do. The blame is not going to be put on me.

[hostage]

[Jesse gnaws on his lower lip, suppressing a scream. God, he could just... leave forever and never see any of them again. Problem solved.]

It's not - It's not about blame. Jesus, you can't just expect me to know what the rules are. A year ago, you and me were enemies. Six months ago, you and me were never-gonna-happen-again. I died, and suddenly you and me were something else. Something you won't even put a name to. And I'm supposed to just know how you want it to be.

Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you. But you can't just be mad at me for not knowing it, for not blowing up the rest of my life for something you didn't even tell me you wanted.

[morethan084]

[Daisy can't just admit that she never thought about it like that, because right now she's still too heated.]

I can't make your decisions for you.

[hostage]

It's not about my decision. It's about what you need. Tell me. Just tell me. You don't want me sleeping with him? Seeing him? Talking to him? Is it because it's him or is it everybody? Are you and me together or did it just happen because you were scared, because I died? Because you felt guilty? Because you forgot who I am? Because you felt like you had to?

[morethan084]

[Her stomach twists at the amount of questions he's just spewed at her, but she does take her hand away from her face to look at him.]

It's not because it's him. It's because I don't want to share you.

[Before he could say anything else:]

I know that sounds possessive, but it's how I feel. I didn't think this was an open relationship.

[hostage]

Then I'm yours.

[He says that more easily than he feels it, but it isn't a lie.]

I don't care if it's possessive. You need this and I need you. I'll do whatever you want. I love you so much, Daisy.

[morethan084]

[That didn't make her feel any better, which is clear by the look on her face.]

But you still love him, and that makes me feel like shit.

[hostage]

[That's an unsolvable problem. Jesse gives a slight shake of his head.]

I'm making my choice. I'm choosing you. The rest of it... You know, it's not the same. It'll go away. I can stop feeling it.

[morethan084]

[Whether or not he chooses to stop feeling it doesn't make her feel any better about this. It would've been so much easier if he didn't love Joel.]

And then what? You just avoid him?

[hostage]

[The real thought of Joel being alive, here, in this world, while Jesse chooses to not so much as see him... It twists Jesse's heart up in his chest. His throat goes tight and he nods mutely, because he can't say the words. Joel is his family. Joel's been his family since before Daisy even came into his life.]

[morethan084]

You can't even say it out loud.

[He's just proving her point.]

[hostage]

I'll stay - I'll stay away from him.

[Honest to god, he's trying, here.]

[morethan084]

That doesn't make me feel any better about this.

[She knows she's just complicating things further but how she felt about this whole thing was complicated.]

[hostage]

I don't know what else to do.

[morethan084]

Neither do I.

[Tilting her head back as she let out a deep breath, Daisy pushed her hands against her eyes before they fell back into her lap.]

I don't want to break up with you. I just wanted you to be honest with me without me having to force it out of you.