EXSILIUM - contact.

[hostage]

UNIT№409



_“ Hey, it's me. Wait for the thing. _”

Comments

[hostage]

[Jesse glances around for a second. It's a funny habit, something stuck with him. He's looking for cameras, and he lowers his voice as he steps forward, like he expects the place to be bugged.]

It's not bad. It's not all bad, I mean. There's some things it's good for. I mean, I don't know... Maybe the Initiative's not even thinking like that. Maybe they just like it the way I do. But armies in my world used to use it.

[payback]

Mm...

[Oh, Initiative. You are so skeezy and sleazy and utterly not on the level sometimes, it's no wonder no one trusts you. Rin ducks her head, pinches her lower lip between thumb and forefinger a little, a thinking habit that developed who-knows-where. Then she glances back up at Jesse again and just watches him. She says nothing, waits instead to see if he'll fill up the silence.]

[hostage]

[He's incriminated himself quite enough. Not eager to volunteer any information she hasn't asked for, especially since he'd be admitting he's thought about it, admitting he does it anyway. It's one thing to do evil when you don't know any better. Another thing entirely to know exactly what harm you're doing and to make the choice to go ahead and do it regardless. Jesse looks around again, but this time it's really just to avoid looking at her.]

[payback]

Well, okay. [The stare is direct, blatant and casual as if it shouldn't even seem remarkable.] Okay. If you want to learn how to do something else, there must be people who could teach you here.

[hostage]

I have to stay in the lab.

[payback]

Because of the Initiative.

[hostage]

[He nods.]

[payback]

[Stymied, she settles down into a frown. If not for long.]

What. How long? Like chained to a desk?

[hostage]

[He'd sort of thought Rin, of all people here, had a sense of how the world really works. So the look he gives her in response to that question is one of confusion.]

[payback]

[Okay, stupid question and she knew it. It was at least half hyperbole. She repeats herself, exasperated:]

What's the schedule like?

[hostage]

I work as much as I can. It changes.

[payback]

What did they say? When you started this.

[hostage]

Nothing. The same thing they say to everybody.

[payback]

Did they threaten you or anything?

[hostage]

[Rin, you sweet summer child.]

What're you picturing? Like guns? No.

[payback]

I want to know what they said! I want to know where you're getting this from! Make something up! Ask to mix another chemical! Figure out a way out!

[hostage]

Look, here's how it works: you got one thing you can do, you get brought to a place by people who need you to do it, you do that thing as good as you can for as long as you can so they don't waste you and replace you. They don't gotta say anything. That's the way it is.

[payback]

So don't cut them off, ask if you can train in something else too.

[hostage]

Ain't nothing else I can do. Nothing I'll ever do half as good.

[...except kill people.]

[payback]

Oh, okay. So the answer is to give up and keep doing the thing you feel horrible over without even trying something else?

[hostage]

You think I haven't tried?! Nothing takes, okay. I'm too stupid.

[payback]

Oh, my God - you have serious problems.

[hostage]

[Thanks for the revelation, Rin.]

[payback]

Don't just CONSIGN yourself to... doing something you HATE because you think you're too STUPID for something ELSE!

[hostage]

You think this is Disney or something? Like if I just try hard enough, I can do anything? Honest to god, I tried. I got out - I was staying outta this business up until the second I took my last breath. But that's what happened, right? I stopped being useful, I tried going straight, and what'd that get me?