hostage | MASK OR MENACE

[That's an adorable problem to have. Jesse's smiling fondly when he glances back to Joel.]

Any tortillas left? We could have quesadillas.

[ Yeah, that he could do instead. Except no already opened packages of that, so he shuts the fridge and crosses to the pantry. After a few seconds of rummaging around, he lets out a muttered "hm". ]

Looks like you pigged out on those already.

[ More rummaging through the pantry, and he spots the stash of long-life milk down on the bottom shelf. There's a lot of canned and long shelf-life food in the pantry, thanks to Joel's anally retentive survivalist habits, but he'd prefer to cook something rather than simply heat something up in a pan, because he needs something to do. ]

Got stuff I can make pancakes with. That do?

[Jesse takes to watching Joel fuss around the kitchen now. It's really sweet, someone going to all that effort for him. The kind of thing that helps bring warmth back into his heart.]

That's perfect. Pancakes would be great.

[Anything would be great.]

[ He gathers the container of flour, the baking soda, sugar, vanilla essence in his arms and takes them across to the island bench. Returns to the pantry for a carton of milk, too, and then he's back at the fridge to retrieve the butter and the almost empty carton of eggs. He finds a lemon down in the fruit compartment, too, and all of that is taken to the bench.

He made pancakes so often for Ellie that he doesn't have to think twice about what he's doing. For the next five or so minutes, Joel works in silence, gathering things out of cupboards and drawers, in between curdling a jug of milk with juice from the lemon and levelling out the portions of dry ingredients into the mixing bowl. ]

Ah, jeez. [ Spotting the use-by date on the egg carton as he retrieves an egg from it. ] Hope these ain't rotten.

[He can't help but approach the kitchen. It feels wrong to just stand by and watch Joel struggle. Jesse creeps around the counter, trying to keep out of Joel's way, and takes a peek in the fridge.]

The sour cream's still good. You could use that instead. Like, substitute.

[Aunt Ginny always did stuff like that. She said it was healthier.]

[ Joel looks over his shoulder at Jesse, his brow a little raised. Sour cream? ]

Never heard of that one before.

[ But okay. Joel is no stranger to having to substitute food when there's little available options. He nods, motions for Jesse to bring it over. Deciding to give Jesse something to do before him just standing there in the kitchen starts really putting Joel on edge, he adds: ]

How 'bout you make some coffee. Make it strong 'cause... well, you know how I like it.

[Once Jesse hands the sour cream over, he immediately turns to start preparing the coffee. It's sort of eerily robotic, actually, how he automatically sets himself to the task the moment he's ordered. But the strangeness of it doesn't register with him. His full focus turns to making the best possible cup of coffee for Joel.]

[ Joel is used to Jesse often making at least some kind of remark when told what to do, sometimes smartassed, sometimes playful, sometimes sarcastic. He notices the silence and while he's heaping in a tablespoon of sour cream into the mixing bowl, he sneaks an uncertain glance over at Jesse.

Well... Probably best to just leave Jesse to it rather than question it. He folds in the rest of the wet ingredients and takes the bowl over to the skillet. As he starts cooking the first lot of pancakes, he looks over at Jesse again, struggling to think of something to say. ]

Y'know, I've been thinkin', uh... You ever been camping?

[Jesse realizes after about five long seconds that the question was for him. He snaps out of his reverie and looks over to Joel.]

- Oh, uh... Like camping camping? Out in the woods, in a tent and stuff?

[ About to say Jesse's name to get his attention, wondering if Jesse even heard a word he said, he peers at Jesse with a slight frown when he finally answers. But then he nods, looking down at the skillet to flip one of the pancakes over. ]

Yeah. Exactly like that. Might be a good idea to get away for a few days, huh? Head right out into nature, someplace where no one'll find us.

[Jesse isn't sure what to make of the proposal. It sounds wonderful to him, for sure. After so many months spent on a leash and in a cell, he's been longing to go for a drive or a swim or a hike through the mountains. Just because he can. But he gets the feeling Joel might be saying this because he needs it. Running is what Joel does.

Not that it changes Jesse's answer:]

Yeah, let's do it.

[They both need time to recover, in their ways.

With the coffee brewing, Jesse's free to move a bit closer to Joel again. Not enough to crowd him in, but he likes to be within arm's reach.]

Where were you thinking of going?

[ An instant little wave of relief comes over him at not having to try to talk Jesse into it. ]

Well, I went to North Carolina, to check out a few places, like I said I was going to. One of 'em was right out near a forest that musta stretched for... god only knows how many miles. Only a coupla dirt roads in and outta the place. Real secluded. Nobody around.

Perfect.

[Jesse gets his freedom and Joel gets his seclusion. No protests here.]

Now if we find a couple horses, it'll be just like Brokeback Mountain.

[See? He's still capable of jokes.]

[ That actually earns a snort out of Joel, accompanied with a shake of his head as if to say, you goddamn smartass. In spite of himself, though, he dryly plays along with the joke. ]

Oh, it's like that, is it?

[Yes. Good. He wants to see Joel smile.]

You tell me, cowboy.

[ That gets Joel looking up from flipping the pancakes to reach a hand out and shove Jesse against his arm. Exasperated mock annoyance more than anything. ]

Shut the hell up.

[Jesse recovers from that shove by slipping his arm around Joel's waist, creeping up behind him.]

Aww. Now you're blushing.

No, I ain't. Quit that.

[ Instead of shrugging Jesse away from him, though, he just heaves an indignant sigh while lifting one of the pancakes off the skillet onto a plate. At least Jesse giving him a hard time feels a lot more normal than how things have otherwise been. Normal is how Joel wants things to return to being. ]

[Jesse shifts slightly, his hands coming to rest on Joel's hips as he leans in and nuzzles into the space between Joel's shoulder blades. Getting nice and comfortable here.]

You know, it's gonna be cold up there this time of year. We'll have to share body heat.

[Joel makes this too easy.]

[ Joel clicks his tongue, feeling more awkward the more Jesse presses the whole Brokeback thing. It seems like he's trying to ignore the way Jesse is behind him, shifting the other pancakes over onto the plate before setting the spatula down to reach for the bowl and spoon out some more mixture into the skillet. He would never in a million years admit that he's missed this, that he'd been convinced the whole time Jesse was gone that he'd lost this. ]

You can stay warm out by the campfire if you keep up this Brokeback bullshit.

Asshole.

[Said with just as much affection as I love you. Jesse's quite settled here, though, so he won't be moving until Joel peels him away. He didn't even know he missed this until a few days ago, but he did. Desperately.]

[ No answer to that fond insult. A tiny smile tugs on the corner of Joel's mouth for just a second, then it's gone. He sets the bowl aside and waits for little bubbles to start forming on the pancake mixture to let him know when to flip them. ]

You never answered my question, anyways. 'Bout whether you've ever been campin' before or not.

Nope. Not the real kind. I wanted to, but my parents only ever sent me off to like... nerd camp. Or youth group. Gay-ass shit like that.

[And he's not counting those "camping trips" in the Crystal Ship.]

Well, that's good to know. Gives me an idea of how much of a pain in the ass you're probably gonna be.

[ His own dry but fond insult. ]

[Joel will be amazed at just how capable Jesse is when it comes to keeping his mouth shut these days.]

Just make sure a bear doesn't eat me.

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