hostage | EXSILIUM

I'm not actually a jerk all the time.

[But it's said lightly, and she manages a wry sort of grin. She knows she hasn't exactly been pleasant around Jesse, and while some of that has been in response to how he was acting, she can still feel a little guilty about it.]

You should go grab clean clothes, I think it'll defeat the purpose of a bath if you put those back on.

[Clean clothes. He wonders if he even has those. He hasn't been paying attention. But he nods and disappears into his bedroom, reappearing about a minute later with fresh clothes rolled under one arm. Turns out he did have some. (Thanks, Lisbeth.)]

[By the time he's back, the taps at the bath have been turned off, because it's full of water and bumbles, Steph's sleeves rolled up to her elbows after she made sure the temperature was fine.]

What do you want for dinner? Please don't say cookies, 'cause I've seen more than enough for the day.

[And a small grin to accompany the joke, even if it wasn't a great one.

She's trying, at least.]

[He almost tells her she doesn't have to trouble herself, but now that he's thinking about it, he can't remember the last time he ate. He'll probably get sick if he carries on like that. Of course, nothing sounds particularly appetizing in his current state, so:]

Um. Whatever's easy.

[The answer doesn't really surprise her, considering... everything, and she knows what it's like to have no appetite.]

You're not allergic to anything, right?

[Just double checking, as she dries her hands on her jeans and steps out of the bathroom.]

[He starts to shake his head, pauses to reconsider, and then shakes his head with more certainty. He doesn't think so.]

[Jesse that is not very reassuring, but she isn't planning to make anything crazy, so it'll probably be fine.]

Okay, now shoo. [With accompanying gesture.] Try not to have too much fun.

[Steph pls.]

[He's having so much trouble understanding any of this, but he's going to do what she says because a bubble bath actually sounds very nice and so does eating a dinner that he doesn't have to cook.

As relaxing as the bath is, Jesse's not one to stay still for long, so he only soaks for about fifteen minutes before he gets bored and climbs out. He considers shaving after he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, but that still sounds like too much effort at this point. Maybe later.

It's enough that he emerges from the bathroom clean and wearing clothes that don't smell offensively ripe.]

[During that time, Steph makes a quick trip down to her own apartment because she feels weird using other people's food, even if she's making something for them.

She decides on beef stroganoff, because it's hearty and easy to make, and she's almost done by the time Jesse reappears.]

Feeling any better?

[And okay, so maybe she's made quite a lot of food, but Jesse has roommates who can eat leftovers.]

[Jesse looks over the stove with wide eyes as he wanders into the kitchen, keeping back so he doesn't get in her way.]

Yeah. That was, um, nice.

[...This meal is so elaborate by Jesse standards. And there's so much of it. He's a bit stunned.]

Bubble baths are kind of magic. [Just saying.] Unlike ice baths, which may actually prove the existence of Satan.

[She remembers the first time Bruce pointed to a bathtub full of ice and freezing water and told her to get in.

It was the worst.

Also surprise, she tends to ramble when she's feeling a bit awkward.]

This should be ready in a sec, you can grab yourself a drink if you want.

[Jesse nods and drifts over to the fridge to grab a beer.]

I, um... I saw this thing once, on TV. Was about these Japanese people who take ice baths for the New Year. Like a ritual. Like for endurance, you know? They're out there in their underwear in the middle of winter just, like, soaking in ice water. Crazy.

[Look who else is a rambler.]

Humans do really stupid shit. [She is a fountain of wisdom.] It's supposed to help after really intense work outs, but I swear Batman only ever made me take them when I'd spent the day mouthing off.

[It's weird to talk about Bat things when she's just hanging around in civvies in someone's kitchen, but whatever.

The pasta is done, so she drains it in the sink, turns off the stove where the stroganoff was keeping warm, and dishes up two plates. There's cutlery already set out on the table, so she just takes the plates over there, assuming Jesse will follow.]

I'll put the rest in the fridge once it's cooled down, for your roommates.

[He does, and he nods as he settles into his seat.]

Yeah, thanks.

[He looks like he wants to say something else for a second, but then he drops his gaze to the tabletop instead.]

[She was gonna just leave him to eat, but she's actually really hungry, considering she hasn't had anything but coffee and cookies all day, so she decided she might as well eat some of what she was cooking.]

You're welcome.

[She doesn't miss that look, so she's frowning a little as she spears a strip of beef on her fork, pausing before she eats.]

What's up?

I was just -

[Ugh, this is going to sound silly. He picks up his fork and pokes at his food a little while he tries to word it in the least dorky way he can think of.]

What's it like? The whole... I mean, you don't gotta tell me, if you don't want, but - Being a hero. Like, legit. Working for him. With him. Whatever. I always wondered, you know, what that'd be like.

[She doesn't think it sounds dorky, and she makes a considering sound around a mouthful of food, taking time to think over her answer while she chews and swallows.]

I think the weirdest part is that he's human underneath it all. 'Cause I grew up around criminals, and they talk about him like he's some kind of mystical figure, you know? And then you really get to know him and he's just some guy who gets scared and lonely and who even laughs, sometimes.

[For all it sounds casual, she's being careful about what she says, because it's Bruce, and she doesn't want to potentially give anything away.]

But I'd always forget that as soon as I was out there working with him, he's just such a presence. And it rubs off on whoevers with him, especially when I was Robin, it's like I got a part of that magic for myself, like I could do anything while I was in those colours.

[There's something a little bit sad in the way she shrugs and looks away for a moment, echoing Jesse's gesure of poking at the food.]

People look at you differently, they take you seriously, and they're either scared of you or they trust you, depending on who they are. They respect you.

[Whether it's criminals or the civilians they're helping, they treated her differently when she was Robin, when she was working with Batman than when she was on her own. It was getting better as Batgirl, but she doubts it'll ever be quite the same.]

No matter what I was facing, I thought that as long as he was with me that I was safe, that nothing could go wrong. It was like being invincible.

[She wonders if Jason felt the same.]

It's not real, that feeling, but it was nice while it lasted.

[With that, she looks down at her plate and eats some more food, signalling that she's done talking for the moment.]

[Jesse's paying far more attention to her story than his meal, but when she pauses for a bite, he quickly shovels pasta into his mouth and then takes his time chewing and contemplating. After he swallows, he feels like he should say something:]

It sounds like it's awesome.

[And he sounds a little jealous.]

It can be.

[It's part of why she still does it, why she kept with it even after putting her dad behind bars, because it really is like being invincible, and that was a feeling she wanted to hold on to when she had no control over the rest of her life.]

We never really saw eye to eye about a lot of things. And he fired me, in the end.

[Her smile is sad, rueful, before she has another bite.]

[She looks sad about it, so Jesse won't press further. He pokes at his food some more.]

I used to wanna be a superhero. I made up like a million stories when I was a kid. Drew comics, too. So... So lame.

I think a lot of kids do that.

[It's strange to think about it from the perspective of a world without them, where they only exist in comic books and movies.]

The first costume I designed was so bad, I mean - really, it was awful. There was just way too much going on, and I still thought you needed briefs on the outside of the costume to be a real hero.

[She manages a genuine smile, sharing something that's a little more cheesy and ridiculous, like it might help lighten the mood a bit.]

And everyone thought I was a dude.

See, but it's awesome, 'cause at least you got to wear it.

[She huffs a laugh, but her expression softens after a moment.]

It was more awesome seeing my dad get shoved in the back of a police car.

[That's what it was about at the start, not being a hero, she just wanted to stop her dad.]

Yeah.

[Jesse draws back uncomfortably, all of a sudden interested in his food again.]

Yeah, I bet.

[Wow, Brown.]

Sorry.

[Smooth.]

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